I met this new guy at a fondue party. Some friends were planning on getting together, because we're old and it's hard to meet new people, ok? Otherwise I stay away from fondue. The main thing that is wrong with fondue is that you never know how much you are eating because you eat all night. Before you ask, this wasn't one of those fondue parties like in the 70's, where you put all of your car keys in a jar. No, just an innocent little dinner.
Except it was hosted by my friends ex-boyfriend.
Who I had never met. So stop judging me.
I brought two friends of mine, which was great BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE SHOWED UP. So instead of being super awkward, it was only a little awkward. But when I realized that this was the guy that broke my friends heart... Whoops, a loyal friend would spit in his drink when he wasn't looking, or steal all his shoelaces, or freeze ants in his ice cube trays. And I just didn't have enough time for all that.
He was/is a perfectly nice guy. Has a job, a car, a house... wears turtlenecks and throws fondue parties. But when he asked me out I just didn't get it. Who would ask out their ex's friend? Ignorance or confidence? I thought that was really lame, but he honestly did seem nice so I agreed to coffee. I know, I'm a horrible friend. But you never know right? I suspected that it would go absolutely nowhere just based on the fact that he was wearing a turtleneck. Turtlenecks are the most pretentious of all sweaters... and I just can't stand a snob. I'll be damned if I end up as a rebound girl to a snobby sweater.
So we did coffee.
What I have learned:
-I found out that you can easily be a snob without a turtleneck on.
-You don't want to date a guy that makes racist comments.
-Don't date a guy if he just broke up with someone else.
-Don't date a guy if you think he's not your type.
-Men in their 30's are a little weird.
-Don't wear turtlenecks.
-Don't eat fondue.
-Just don't.
There isn't a whole lot to report on this guy, but I got really put off when he said that he was too white to mop the floor. He works in management for a cleaning company... so no second date.
