Worst Valentines Day EVER.

Let me tell you about the worst Valentines day I have ever had.

You mean, besides the subsequent 13 that were spent alone? Yeah. For some reason, this event scarred me enough that I just don't date people around V-day.

So my boyfriend invited me over to his house for a romantic dinner for two. Translation: I want to sleep with you tonight. SO anyways... I arrive and he is trying his best, being that he's a guy that can't cook. Menu is spaghetti. Spaghetti isn't really a romantic food... it's what you get at elementary school lunch, or on the side at the Olive Garden. It's the type of food that actually can make the night go worse.... sauce all over your face, spaghetti slurping, fork spoon positioning, noodle mishaps... too much going on there. When I was a kid my mom made me put on a hot pink sweatshirt whenever we had pasta because I was such a messy eater. I pretty much still am.

He had been trying to make this pasta for awhile, because he didn't know how to turn on the stove. He kept turning on the oven instead and was dumbfounded that the top of the stove wasn't boiling the water. After awhile I took pity and helped him. He boiled that spaghetti for a looooong time. It was like one big glued together mess that he drained and cut in half with a knife and slapped on two plates, then poured canned sauce on top. Bon Appetite!

Problem was that he lived with his Dad, who also planned to bring a girl home for a Romantic Valentines Day Dinner. Just as we sat down to congealed noodles, his dad came home with a girl.

AND THEN HE STARTED YELLING.

He started yelling at my bf for being home when he wanted to be alone with his girl. He yelled at him for using plates. He yelled at him for using his food, to feed a stranger. He yelled at him for using the fireplace, and wood that didn't belong to him to burn in the fireplace. He yelled at him for making a mess in the kitchen. He yelled at him for not knowing telepathically that he was inviting his own girl over. He yelled at him for everything under the sun. It was so uncomfortable and awkward. At first I thought maybe it was some kind of act, but I soon stopped laughing when I saw his crazy angry eyes.

AND THEN HE STARTED YELLING AT ME.

He called me every name in the book. The B word, the A word, and even the C word. Right in front of his guest, his son and as far as I know all the neighbours could hear. At least one person heard, because they CALLED THE FREAKING COPS when they started to hear glass smashing.

He smashed the plates we were eating off of, the bowl of spaghetti, the glasses of wine, and then he threw a pot from the kitchen into the dining room and smashed a mirror.

So... cops show up... as I am putting my shoes on and leaving through the back door un-noticed.

I took the bus home. On valentines day. After some guy's dad called me the C word.

Note: This also explains why I never want to meet a guy's parents, and why I like to date orphans.

HAPPY BLACK TUESDAY TO YOU.... 

The trilogy of "Third Date Guy" is over.

So I went out with Third Date Guy for the last time. 

Randomly he called me and wanted me to go with him to this live show at a pub. I never go to pubs, because I teach kids and I don't want there ever to be a rumor about me that I am a party girl. I don't drink at all, so it's just the best thing to stay out of that lifestyle. This time I acquiesced, and decided to go. 

Instead of picking me up, he wanted me to drive to his house, and meet him there so we could go together. Not the biggest deal, but disappointing. He parked quite far away, so that parking would be free. Why do guys do this? It's rude. Just pay the freaking $4!!! When we got in the pub, he didn't want to sit with his actual friends, because he was still mad at them for telling me that he didn't like me and was playing me. I know... why the heck was I going out with him again? God knows. 

He ended up inviting a couple that he works with. WOW, a double date that he didn't mention. Thanks for making my night awkward, making awkward stilted conversation with people that I don't know. 

The live show was BAD. Like, demand-your-money-back-bad. I was like, "I set my integrity aside for this? What a waste." Like, if I was going to go to a bar to see a show it better be someone actually good, not some amature night. One thing I can say though, is that he bought me a pop. And I mean that he actually paid for it in full, and didn't try to get me to pay. The trouble came after his friends left. 

So we were "trying" to get to know each other better, so I had asked him all kinds of questions. Just normal get to know you questions... like What do you do for a living? What kind of church do you like to go to? How old are you? Do you like kids? What do you do in your spare time? Do you like to travel? And he asked me a lot of questions as well.  Just normal things... but all of a sudden he turned into a crazy person. I do a lot of kids ministry, aka, Sunday school teaching, things like that... and I asked him if he liked to teach kids at all. This was the catalyst. He freaked out and started saying that he didn't know, and then he contradicted all the answers to all the questions that I had ever asked him? Then he said that he didn't know "who he was in God." Now, WTF does that even mean? I raised my eyebrows, and said "Ok, we're done here, drive me back to my car now." On the 8 block walk back to the car, he accused me of many different things, one of which was verbally attacking him on purpose to make him feel small. Dude, you're 5 foot 3, I don't NEED to do that. And IF I had wanted to attack you, I damn well would have. But I didn't, it was just the crazy talking. (On his side). 

On the drive home, he started CRYING and told me all these really personal things about him and his life, and I don't think I have ever prayed so hard to get somewhere faster. I am really uncomfortable when men cry. Especially if they are wussy guys. Like dude, I am bad enough, I don't need another girly man around to be an example to me and future children. Suck it up. We FINALLY got back to his house and he JUST KEPT TALKING AND CRYING IN THE CAR. I think we were there for an hour, and inside my brain I was screaming for Jesus to come and save me. Finally I just said that I didn't want to be friends, and not to contact me anymore. But a week later, I had an email/texts. I ignored it. Another email. So we texted for maybe a week, him waking me up at 3am to say rude and insulting comments, then say that he was "only joking".... and I told him to leave me alone for real this time. A week went by, and an email. I replied and told him to get a clue and not contact me again. I told him I wouldn't speak to him again, unless it was at church to say good morning, with witness's around. Finally.... he left me alone. 

This ends the Trilogy of Third Date Guy.

I wish I had a Danny Tanner life lesson for you here, but I'm still astonished that I let this happen myself. If you don't trust someone, stay away from them, even if it's like a page-turner and you want to find out what happens at the end. It's just not worth it. Also, I will be forever indebted to my friend who told me about "airplane mode" for my iPhone... no more texts waking me up at night.