But I digress.
My friend got a message from Catman. That wasn't his real name, I just named him appropriately. His profile said "I'm a really good person, at least my cats like me." Yes. It's a crazy cat MAN! The elusive "cat bachelor" DOES exist... it's not just a myth. However my friend does not like cats, so she cancelled the plans they had.
8 months later, he messages her again! He had forgotten she turned him down, and sent her a bunch of messages and "winks." She reminded him that she cancelled on him, and mentioned that she is allergic to cats. (lies). He replied "Maybe you could just never come to my condo, or visit my natural path friend." Right. Then. So welcoming of you.
So she met him at Starbucks and he was 20 minutes late. He was wearing the exact same clothing that they wear at Cineplex Odeon, which was weird because he didn't work there. Her description of his face was "his face was kind of crooked, not sloth, but off, you know?" Love the goonies reference.. She said that his hair was weird, he was weird... just a weirdo. Because he stared at her for an hour. Just stared like he had never seen a woman before. She tried to draw him into conversation, but he just gave her one word answers and it was getting painful. Finally he mentioned that he had had a root canal and she got really excited because finally they had something in common and had 5 minutes of conversation. Then, he stared some more. And some more.
After an hour of crazy silence the staff told her they were closing soon so she chugged her coffee as fast as she could and stood up and tried not to touch him (bah hahhahaha... so funny) and said "Ok, yeah, see you later" and ran to her car. She said that he must live in her neighbourhood because she ended up following him in her car! For blocks and blocks, so she "got lost" on purpose. Then went home and used a lint roller.
"Sometimes you just know, that you can't date a Catman."