Wednesday, 19 October 2011

#34. The worst one of them all.

This was one of the worst, if not the worst.

Picture yourself the week before you turn 30.

Sigh. This was where I was when I agreed to go out with this stupid guy. Well, I guess you could say that he probably was not stupid... but exceptionally intelligent. You'll see.

I met this guy online, and he contacted me and wanted to meet for coffee. He looked decent in the pictures with dark hair and no beards or mustaches in sight. If I remember correctly he was surfing in most of them. (Because we have so much ocean nearby in rural Alberta). We agreed to meet at one of the trendy university hangout places that stay open really late.

As soon as I arrived I was confused. He was there, but he looked nothing like his photos. He lied about how tall he was, and how bald he was. Sigh. He said that he was a professor at one of the nearby colleges... and that's almost all I remember because he talked about how smart he was for an hour. This has happened to me so many times I am really good at smiling and nodding. He explained that he is even smarter than a genius because he has exceptional hearing. Hearing is a sign of intelligence, so he is way above genius level. I admit that I wasn't paying that much attention... and when there was a break in the conversation he started talking about other girls he's dated. (Major Faux Pas). He started talking about age... so I mentioned that because he was 32 years old (remember I was 29) he was technically the oldest guy I've ever dated, since I usually date younger men.

Just wait for it.

He must have been offended by that comment, which to me seemed innocent... maybe he has an age complex or whatever? I'm not sure. Maybe his mother calls every night to ask when he will give her grandchildren? Maybe he has 10 younger siblings that got married before he did and he feels insecure? Whatever was going on in his mind does NOT justify what he said to me next.

Wait for it.

He looks me square in the eye, juts out his chin, narrows his eyes and says,






I was kind of stunned at his rudeness and thought he might be joking... but when no punchline came I was just kind of in shock. I didn't know what to say so I asked him "Can you HEAR my clock ticking?" and he actually said YES. 

Did that just happen? It did. 4 days before I turned 30. What a kick in the crotch. Bastard. 

So we made polite conversation for the next half hour. Got up to leave and I was reminded again at how many inches he forgot to mention in his profile. This guy was as tall as I am.. and that is the height of a small child. He proceeds to ask me out for coffee again.. and meant it. He wanted to go for coffee again RIGHT THAT VERY MINUTE. ??? Who does that? 

How about no. 

I am still blown away by this guy's tactless comment. No one should ever say that to a woman... especially not one who is turning 30 soon! Honestly, I don't care if I have children or not. As far as I'm concerned all my eggs can either stay unhatched unless I sell them all on eBay. I certainly wouldn't have children with him... they would end up hobbits.