Monday, 5 September 2011

#36. "The Boy Who Wouldn't Leave".

So, this is the tale of "The Boy Who Wouldn't Leave". I met this guy at my college, and normally all the boys there are.... boys... so they are hands off. I don't need to be known as the "(School's name) Cougar". The "Boy Who Wouldn't Leave" was a bit older than the rest, just 3 or so years younger than me so you can rest easy knowing I'm not a pedophile. I so rarely get to use that word in a sentence.

It was my 30th birthday. I have a horrible birthday every single year. Because of this I have very low expectations when it comes to birthdays, so I just sent out a facebook invite to come to my friends house for dinner. It was snowing outside, probably below 30 Celsius, and around 20-30 people came for Indian food, which we made. Oh yeah.

Among them was the "Boy Who Wouldn't Leave". We did the dinner, presents, all that jazz. I think I remember being sang to in Dutch, but that was a year ago and you can't expect me to remember everything. At around 10:30pm, people are leaving and my friend and I are at the door waving to everyone, thanking them for coming, that kind of thing. Almost in unison, we turn our heads and see the "Boy Who Wouldn't Leave" behind us... also waving.

Isn't that a bit weird? You're at a party and everyone leaves except you? MMMhhhhmmmm. That's kind of a clear hint that you should leave too.

So my friend and I didn't know what to do. Do we kick him out? Do we try to make awkward conversation? Do we yawn and stretch and act really tired? The thing is, this guy is not my friend, he's totally random and I don't know him at all. So we decide to watch a movie. Unfortunately the ONLY movie that we had was...

This is what my face looked like.

GONE WITH THE WIND. Do you have any idea how long this is? It's 238 minutes! 3.9 hours! 14280 seconds that we spent make awkward conversation, at 2am on my birthday, watching Gone With The Wind. I mean, it's one of my favorite movies, at least in my top 10. But still. Come on, it's late just GO HOME. After it was over, I just wanted to be Gone with the Wind too.

This guy insisted on walking me to my car. OK, it's 3am, that's a nice thing to do. Hello, every guy should do that. But, he decided that since it was my birthday, he needed to give me a hug. Problem. I don't like to hug strange men! In fact, I dumped a guy for being too touchy on the first date. You can read about that one later... he might be #25? Back on track. I kept telling him no, I don't need a hug... a handshake is fine... But NO. He was SO insistent, like it was his duty or mission in life to make this day even more uncomfortable. I kept saying NO... but maybe my eyes said YES because I wound up with the first hug of my 30's by a random guy I don't even know. What would Scarlett have done? Called up Rhett to shoot the scoundrel for taking liberties. At least in my mind that's how it would go.

What is it with some guys? No means NO! Yeah, a hug is pretty innocent but I didn't really want to end my night pressing my chesticals against a total stranger. What's next? He meets some girl at the grocery store and moves in with her? Locks eyes across the room and impregnates a total stranger?

The best part is.... there's a part 2. Just wait.

P.S, I also started travelling for my B-day every year now. Much better.