Saturday, 10 December 2011

Catch me if you can...

Catch me if you can guy isn't exactly a blind date, though I certainly felt blindsided after ward.

He was a brother of a good friend of mine, and pretty much always sat with me in church. And said absolutely nothing. At the end of the service, I would stand up, say "How was your week?" and he would say "Fine" and wait for me to move out of his way so he could leave. So one of those socially awkward people that you never really understand.

The thing is... his Dad would always tell me to marry his son. I am convinced that he had some sort of romance in his mind that only existed there, because again... his son almost never spoke to me. The Dad would come up with weird statements like... "You know, He would do anything for you...." Which led me to think that maybe he had some secret crush or something?

So this guy called me up on the phone to ask me to see a movie with him. It was an old Doris Day film, whom I love, btw, and it was playing at a museum. So I agreed to go, and was wondering if he would like, make a declaration of un-dying love since his Dad was so eager to marry us.

I arrive at the museum, park my car, and start walking to the entrance. The guy is walking towards me, and I'm thinking "How nice, he saw me drive up and came to meet me!" No. He passes me, and says "I'm going to my car." No other explanation. So I go in and wait for him inside, not sure why he went to his car. He comes back like, 10 minutes later and has a bottle of water in his hand. One bottle. Then he says "Did you get your ticket? They only take cash, so I hope you have cash. (rudely, I might add)" Buddy. I was waiting for you to get back so I could see if you bought your date a ticket. Like a normal person would. It was only $3. You couldn't spring for $3?

I paste a smile on my face and go get my ticket.

We walk in together in silence.

The whole auditorium is a sea of silver and grey.

Everyone is a senior citizen.

Except us.

We sit down, and.... HE PULLS A MAGAZINE OUT OF HIS POCKET. He proceeds to read the magazine in SILENCE until the movie starts. Then... more silence.

The movie was ok, I don't remember which one it was but I remember some slapstick suspenders scene that made me laugh out loud.

Movie over.

We stand up in silence.

We walk out in silence.

Parking lot.

This guy just veers off and walks to his car. No goodbye. No I'll see you later. No I'll walk you to your car. I'll just walk to my car and say nothing. He actually left me speechless, standing in the middle of the parking lot... dumbfounded. Did that really just happen?

Did it? Did this guy call me, invite me to a movie and PRETEND I WASN'T EVEN THERE?

It did. The next day I was explaining this weird date to my friend, and she stops me and says "That sounds like my brother, was it my brother?" Yeah.

I don't get it. But, I will tell you that the Dad gave up, and I hope he felt really bad that he tried to play us, and me in particular.

This guy also gave me "Catch Me if You Can" the movie, for my birthday one year. I was wondering if that was a subliminal message and wanted to counter offer with "Gone with the Wind" or maybe, "Get Smart." But again, I have a horrible birthday every single year. That was the year that he yelled out in front of all my friends that I was the stupidest person that he'd ever met. I went home and cried later.

The year before, he gave me a birthday card that said "I'm so glad we are lovers."

The funniest thing about this is that I ended up making this guy's wedding cake. One of the most ugliest requests I have ever had... and they didn't tip me! I made it for cost, and they shorted me. Ha ha ha.... I even had to hire someone to work for me for the day so I could deliver it... that's $80 I'll never see!