Saturday, 3 September 2011

#42. Yes. Yes he did.

A friend of mine wanted to set me up with her cousin. We are not really close friends, but I think she thought that since she knew two single people over the age of 30 it must be fate that we go together.

I agreed to meet this "cousin" at Moxie's for dinner mid week. So I arrive a few minutes early, and instead of sitting in the lounge I just take a table in the restaurant. I waited about 15 minutes, and that's a long time to wait at a table while you look like an idiot. He texts me that he's 5 minutes away. OK, I can wait 5 more minutes. 10 minutes go by and I'm leaving. As I'm walking to my car, this guy yells across the parking lot "Hey are you (my name)?" I almost wanted to just get in and drive away, but if he told my friend she would be mad. I decide to go through with it, and meet this guy and go in to get (another) table.

The first thing I noticed was that he had long fingernails. Guys don't usually have long fingernails. They weren't tranny long- but they were just too long to be manly, know what I mean? And then I saw the  GOLD PINKY RING. Yes, this was a first for me. I've seen all kinds of gold chains in my day, but never a pinky ring. Which reminds, me... I've never seen the Godfather. Anyhow, he kept apologizing for being late, traffic, work, all that kind of thing. It was pretty profuse. Like, just say it once and be done with it!

Usually when you are on a blind date, you never order appetizers. They add to the bill, which makes you look rude if he's paying and also there is that "do we share this?" awkwardness. He ordered not one, but TWO appetizers. For him. And he ate it all. Himself. We made the small talk, and he talked about how he owns a business, and it's in the family, and his expensive car and all that jazz. It was refreshing to meet someone who is a grown up, who takes finances seriously. But then he started grilling me about my own business, asking too many personal questions... Our meals came, so that gave me a reprieve from the ambush. At least I ordered my favorite sandwich. That was the good part.

After his meal, he ordered coffee. By this time I kind of wanted to go home, this was like the date that never ends. Then he ordered dessert! For crying out loud, we had no rapport at all. Why make this last longer than it has too?

Finally our server brought the bill and he looks at it and says the total, and then gets his iPhone out and then halves the bill and tells me how much I owe.

Excuse me?

I did not eat two appetizers, a lemonade, coffee and dessert.

I had a sandwich and a diet Pepsi.

Did this guy really expect me to pay half of the whole bill? YES. YES HE DID.

This was one of those moments when you don't know what to do. Do you just pay and leave? Do you argue about it? I mean, he's the one with a gold pinky ring. I just really didn't want to buy this guys food. I thought it was pretty rude to split the bill like that. At this point, I didn't care if my friend got mad at me or not, so I paid debit, but I only paid for the sandwich and pop. I handed a fiver to the server and said thanks! So he was left to pay for his own meal(s). Said see you later and left.

Whew. My friend didn't say one word.