Friday, 15 March 2013

Those Pastors Kids....

It's difficult to know what to write about dating Pastor's Kids (PK's) because they are a whole separate species. For some context, it's not an easy life. They have to not only live up to their fathers expectations, but THE WHOLE CHURCHES EXPECTATIONS. I dated my first and only PK when I was 25. I was naive and thought wow, this guy must be so godly because he's a pastors kid!  HELL NO.

So here are 25 things I have to say about dating THAT pk.

#1 I was his very first ever girlfriend.
#2 He wanted to make out 2 seconds after becoming "official."
#3 He kept saying "Wow, I have a girlfriend!" over and over.
#4 I always caught him looking down my shirt.
#5 I never actually saw him ever read a bible.
#6 He considered U2 to be a) good, b) christian music, c) equal to God
#7 His nose was bigger than Brazil, and you know those things don't stop growing.
#8 He had to have his whole families approval before he would consider dating me?
#9 I think he compared every girl on earth to his sister, kind of hard to live up to.
#10 He wrote and recorded me a song about how selfish I am.
#11 He always tried to pin me down and grind his crotch all over me.
#12 He talked down to me and told me how stupid I was.
#13 My job just wasn't good enough for him.
#14 He told me that when we got married we could get a dog. I hate dogs.
#15 Did you miss that "we," I hope you didn't. What an ass.
#16 He would take me to his house that he was building and show off.
#17 His idea of flirting, was to put a pantsload of construction signs all over my front lawn. Felony.
#18 He would have rather been at the lake, than in church. Not my style.
#19 One time he stole the tip I left for the server on the table at a restaurant.
#20 Treated me like a piece of ass. (Yes, my rear was really nice back then, but still).
#21 So pretentious you wanted to kick him in the throat.
#22 He just wasn't my type... more BMW than El Camino.
#23 My church went crazy and everyone told us to get married, the best way to kill a relationship.
#24 He jumped in on a family photo, and then people died and it's THE ONLY ONE WE HAVE.
#25 He dated someone for just the heck of it, which is something you should never ever do.


The thing that makes me so mad about this experience, is that I had a very strict policy about getting physical with guys. Meaning, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. But, I lowered my guard and I should have never have done it. I don't know what I was thinking. I felt so foolish for so long after this, and I really beat myself up over it. I'm not saying that anything happened that would cause me to get stoned, (biblically!) but you know I just really feel that if you are making out with a guy you're not married to, it's likely that you are making out with someone else's husband.

My youth pastor had a really good illustration for this. He glued a piece of pink paper to a piece of blue paper. When he tried to separate them, there were bits of pink stuck on blue, it was all torn and messed up. At the time I didn't see the truth in that illustration. There are consequences for our actions. Whenever I think now about lowering my guard with a guy... I remember that illustration and I thank God that he can heal, he can restore, and he can take care of us better than we can.

Life Lesson: Don't date a pervert. If you date one by accident, dump him no matter what! You deserve better! 

Ok, #26 is a bonus. I went to his lake lot to meet his family which was of course awkward to say the very least. The relationship didn't last much longer after this, but I was left with a nice parting gift. We had went out on someones boat, and he lent me his water shoes to wear. 3 days later, I noticed a teeny purple splotch on the top of each of my feet. The tiny splotches turned into HUGE PURPLE SPLOTCHES the size of mandarin oranges. NI HAO. I went to a dermatologist who said that there is no known cause, no known cure, and that they can last 4-10 years. They did eventually go away as well as all my desire to date again... with my luck next time I would get scabies or lice or male pattern baldness.