Monday, 18 June 2012

I just bought a ticket to Utah.

Pretty much all the guys on Christian Mingle are ugly. 
The good looking ones are just too good looking 
like underwear models in the sears catalogue. 

Guys in their 30s want to date girls in their 20's. Ouch. 

Guys in their 40's want to date girls in their 30's... 


Now for reasons I don't understand, most of my friends my age are married with kids. They slowly stop hanging out with you, because you just have nothing in common anymore. I mean... you're alone and they aren't. Don't get me wrong, I don't really want to be woken up at 3 am by screaming children or change diapers. I like getting 14 hours of sleep a night. It just sucks that everyone else isn't available to go out all the time. 

So, I made friends 10 years younger than me. EAT THAT OLD PEOPLE. 

But now... they too are slowly getting married and engaged and having kids also. Pretty soon, I will be the only single female on earth, and will be easy pickings for a polygamist cult to pick up. 

It must be so nice to live on a polygamist commune. You are pretty much guaranteed to get married NO MATTER WHAT. You might have to share him with 8 other women, and he might be in his 60's, but chances are he will want to breed it up asap. You get to have sister-wives to hang out with all day while doing laundry and cooking. The clothes are cotton and breathable. The puffed sleeves add a little something. You never have to pay for a haircut again, or buy makeup. You don't even need to take care of your own kids, because they have 9 other mothers. 

I just bought a ticket to Utah.