Sunday, 8 January 2012

How to Rebound in 30 minutes or less!

Sometimes dates don't last very long. 

This was an attempt at dating again after breaking up with a guy that I actually liked. I'll write about him another time. For now.... lets talk about "Rebound Guy."

"Rebounding" defined is "Someone who is "on the rebound," or recently out of a serious dating relationship, is popularly believed to be psychologically incapable of making reasonable decisions regarding suitable partners due to emotional neediness, lingering feelings towards the old partner, or unresolved problems from the previous relationship". From Wikipedia, so it doesn't count for APA formatting. 

I deny being mentally incapable of making a reasonable decision. I was like, ok.... it's been a couple months... lets get back to it. That sounds like a very reasonable decision. Besides, online dating is like sticking your hand into a bucket of fish, you never know what you will grab. Might be good, might be rotten... but you never know unless you try. I'm starting to think I'm allergic to fish though. 

I met this guy at a coffee shop not that far from my house. Sometimes I get annoyed that I have to drive across town to have a bad date, it's much more convenient to just go a few blocks. He was ok looking, and was wearing nice clothes, at least. This was before plaid shirts really came back into style, so I thought he was a bit farmer like, and I kept calling him "Farmer Ted" in my mind like from "16 candles."
He was actually pretty funny, and we were maybe only 10 minutes into the date when he got this painful expression on his face and got up and went to the bathroom. All of a sudden it smelled like fart where he was sitting. Hmmm. 

I waited. 

I waited some more. 

This was before iPhones existed, so I just sat there doing nothing, checking my crappy nokia for the time. Thank goodness there was a second coffee cup on the table, otherwise it would have looked like I got stood up. However, if I was a crazy person it looked like I had an imaginary friend. Not sure which is worse. I waited nearly half an hour for this guy to come out of the bathroom. I kind of figured that this was maybe not a good time for him. I mean... half an hour? I got up and went to the counter and told the Starbucks people that my date has been in the bathroom for over 30 minutes and I was leaving, so if they could check to see if he was still alive. I figured that he would be too embarrassed to come back to the table anyhow, so this was best... 

Never heard from him again. 

Maybe he died?