Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Mr. Grabby hands.


I had totally forgotten about this one until I looked through a box of movies to throw away. Someone gave me a VHS a long time ago that brought back some bad memories.

I had gone out with a friend from work, who made it kind of obvious after he picked me up that he had a crush on me. How do I know this? I got into the car and he said "I'm so glad we are going to a movie, I've had a crush on you for a long time." Oh. Smooth. Not awkward at all.

So we get to the movie theatre and he really wants to see "Something's gotta give." I am not so into it, because Jack Nicholson isn't one of my favourites, and I don't really like romantic movies that much. Just because my estrogen outnumbers my testosterone doesn't mean that I want to see people making out all the time. I'd rather see someone get stabbed.

I had no idea what the movie was about, but popcorn usually makes me pretty happy.

This guy spent the first half of the movie with his hand upturned on the arm rest. I just kept mine in my lap. Then, he starts spreading out, and soon has his hand over my lap, just hovering. ??? I kept my eyes on his hand, because I wasn't sure if he needed to stretch, or if he was a pervert. He slowly lowered his arm until his hand was resting on my hands. Like in a weird way. I told him not to touch my hand because I coughed on it earlier, and I probably had a disease. He started doing the upturned hand thing on the arm rest again.

So, I wasn't really paying that much attention to the movie until Diane Keaton's FULL FRONTAL NUDITY!!!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! NOT WHAT I PAID TO SEE!!!! I was like, omg, and looked away, and then I got so uncomfortable sitting there while old people are having sex, I had to leave. I mean, renting a movie and fast forwarding it is one thing, but you can't fast forward in a movie theatre. I waited in the lobby for the REST OF THE MOVIE. This guy didn't come out until the end. I don't know, if I was on a date and my date left wouldn't you offer to leave too? Ok. Screw that. I would probably stay in the theatre if I liked the movie, but obviously I didn't like seeing Diane Keaton naked as much as he did. Gross.

On the way home he kept trying to grab my hand again, and I started coughing on it some more.

He did the whole "This was great, we should do it again sometime!" thing. I just said "Well, since we've already seen that movie we don't need to see it again," and got out and left.

Bah ha ha ha.