Sunday, 2 October 2011

Guest Blog #3. Pretty Woman.

This arrived in my inbox and I got shivers up my spine. 

My bad date story starts with a charitable notion. I was asked to pose for the Edmonton Sun for the Ride for Dad which is a charity that raises money for prostate cancer. For the shoot I had to pull off a biker type of look. I went and purchased a skimpy leather outfit, got a spray tan, and had my makeup professionally done. If you know anything about photo shoots, you know that the makeup is not exactly daywear. So I am driving to this photo shoot looking like Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman and suddenly two of my tires fly off in opposite directions. What a disaster. That is how I met Prince Charming (or so I thought).

He was an AMA driver. He was also a firefighter (heck yes!!!!!)
He was a Christian to boot. What more could I want? I should mention that he picked me up and rescued me and I totally looked like a street walker so I didn’t have the guts to flirt with him or anything. So I tucked my number into a book in his car and hoped he would find it eventually.

A few days went by and I got a charming text from him. We talked, texted, and emailed for almost 3 months and finally decided to meet up. Things seemed to be going well. We met up for coffee and he was as good looking as I remembered. The chatting was going well. We decided to go for a walk to Rundle Park. We took his truck there and started walking across a romantic bridge when my phone rang. It was odd because it was a blocked call so I decided to answer it. On the other end was a woman asking “are you with _____ ______.” (his name) I told her yes and I could hear a newborn baby crying in the background. She proceeded to tell me that she was his wife and that she got my number because I texted him a few days earlier while she was in the hospital giving birth. I was horrified!! I was apologizing to her and told him he needed to drive me back to my car immediately. WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!

The whole ride back to my car he gave me some elaborate story about how she isn’t his wife but some crazy ex who stalks him and does stuff like this all the time. Then he went home and told her that I was a diamond dealer and that he was meeting with me to buy her a diamond to celebrate the birth of their new child and that I played along so that I didn’t ruin the surprise. She stayed with him and I dodged a bullet.

Waste of makeup says: Why can't married guys wear wedding rings? Oh, so they can cheat. I forgot.