I will remain nameless.
The men will remain nameless.
I don't plan to censor anything, so if you are offended get over it because I don't care.
You can, and should laugh at these stories I'm offering up.
Tell your friends, and they will laugh.
If you have your own story, let me know and you can guest blog.
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Guest Blog #2. Orange Julius Guy.
Coincidently, Bad blind Date #36 dated one of my friends. (Oh yeah, girls talk). We were having breakfast in the Philippines sharing bad blind date stories when we figured out we HAD DATED THE SAME GUY. And, he turned out to be a cheapskate for both of us.
Guest Blog #2.
It all started a couple of years ago on Facebook. Back in the day, I was often seen on the chat system, even though I was never the one to initiate conversations. A boy (refer to blind date boy #36) starts chatting me. I knew him briefly from school, had seen him around, and had planned a couple of school trips that he was a part of. Thus, I knew his face and his name, and not really much else about him. The next thing I knew, the boy asked me on a date for the following afternoon. But get this, we went to a MALL.
After asking my mom if it was ok with her because I am young, and then asking some friends the next morning at school what they thought, I got with my prof and we stalked him on our school's system to see if we could find out more about him. We then decided it wouldn't really hurt to go out with him. Even if it was to the mall.
I had given him my number the night before, because I was a little tired of the Facebook chat. So I told him he could text me the next day and we could figure out details. Not only did he text me the next day, he also phoned me two times just to double check that I was still going.
Now this is how all good date stories start:
When school was finished, I headed to the mall. He had previously told me exactly where I could meet him, and where he would conveniently be waiting to "pick me up". Once there, we wandered inside. He began to tell me about this great coupon he had found the day before in his house for Orange Julius, which is why he wanted us to go to the mall. Because the mall had an Orange Julius. And couches. It was a buy 1 get 1 free coupon, and I hesitantly and then bitterly paid for the 1 we actually had to pay for.
Waste of Makeup says: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? He made you pay?AND HE HAD A COUPON?
Sitting on the couches, I found that he was quite boring. But I wanted to give him the time and the space to prove himself. I started asking him questions, and refused against all my boredom to look at my phone. I had placed it on silent in my coat pocket previous to entering the mall. He was doing good at answering my questions with 1-word answers, until finally he opened up. He said, "Well, there's just something I've been wondering this entire time." This should have been one of the millions of clues, but for some reason it wasn't.
He reached into his pocket, grabbed a stack of stapled papers out, and presented them to me. It was then that I realized that this paper was addressed to the professor at our college that I worked for, and that he was about to ask me something about it. He spent the next half hour or more asking me about the prof, the class, the specific paper, and how he could do better for this guy's other assignments.
Just when I thought I was floored by this, his phone rings loud and proud. And he answers it. He answered his phone. In the middle of our date. About his homework.
At this point I started to look at my phone, and made up some excuse about it being time to head home and help my mother make dinner. I thought I could ditch him right at the couches, and give him no chance. But instead he said, "I'll walk you to your car. I want to make sure you have enough gas and that it will run properly to get you all the way home." Just my luck.
We made awkward (for me) small talk on the way to my car about my evening plans (church, young adults night). Finally when he had checked everything and more that I knew a person could check on in my car, he gave me the go-ahead to leave.
Well, praise the Lord, I couldn't believe the worst date ever had finished. Or so I thought.
That night when I arrived at church for the young adults night, you would never guess who appeared... And all he did all night was hover around me, even after I got my pastor-friend to tell him to back off. Luckily I've never had to speak with him again.
Waste of Makeup says: This guy needs to get a job. And manners.